i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
