Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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