You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
