I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
