I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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