You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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