she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
