Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
