I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
