I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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