The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
