Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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