Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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