I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
