Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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