I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
