ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize