i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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