Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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