a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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