Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
These tits shall not be calmed
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