I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize