He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
