Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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