We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Can you bring me the toilet please
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
