Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
