OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
