No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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