why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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