I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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