I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
