At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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