is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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