So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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