Porn is love you can see.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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