First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
