You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
