So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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