so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
