oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
