I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
This is the high leading the old right now
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
