At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
