oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize