these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
