Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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