in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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