do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
