So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
