i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
