she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
