just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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