I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
