Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
