Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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