So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Bring me that man meat
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
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