id be glad to
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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