a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
