I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
