Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
