great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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