I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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