Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
