all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
