Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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