That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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