I think my fart just growled at me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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