how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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