You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
