shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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