Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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