i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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