It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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